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Background

Our story begins in October 1996 when we first began working with children in a mission orphanage in the Philippines. We've learned from first hand experience what most don't know and have never heard. We have observed what works and what doesn't. Over 163 million children around the world, including over 150 thousand children here in the USA, are desperately longing to belong to a loving family, and to have a "home for good." Six years working with the children in the orphanage completely shattered our paradigm of an ideal orphanage, and changed our way of thinking from orphan care to adoption!

We soon discovered that institutions are not solutions. No matter how much love and affection we gave the children, they were still orphans, and children simply don't want to BE orphans! They are so desperate for love that it can take less than an hour of attention and affection for a child to bond with you and want you to adopt them.

I had only just met a young orphan girl and began to shower her with attention, and asked for permission to publish her photo and story about needing treatment for a serious medical condition. In one of the photos you could see her saying, "I love you" in sign language. She was wooing me with every ounce of charm that she could muster, and the pretty smile on her face confirmed that she was ready to become my daughter!

 

A few months later when I returned to the orphanage with the money for her medical treatment, she would not come near me, and had a very hurt look on her face. When I moved in her direction she turned and ran. When I inquired about the girl, the staff told me to leave her alone, because I had hurt her so badly that she never wanted to see me again. Her hopes had been so high that I might adopt her, but I crushed her tender heart, destroyed her hope and broke her spirit. Instead of helping her, I gave her an overdose of attachment disorder! All of my efforts to love and help her were counterproductive. All she really wanted was a family!

We resigned from the orphanage work to establish Home For Good, in order to raise awareness of the children's desperate need to belong to a loving family, and we learned that millions of families around the world already want to adopt.

But, cost is an obstacle that prevents many families from adopting, or at least people think it does. They simply don't know the truth about the cost of adoption, and don't know that help is available.

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When Helping Hurts

We helped our Filipino Pastor and his wife to host an 8 yr. old girl from the orphanage for two weeks, so she could spend Christmas in a home with a real family. In that brief time she had so thoroughly bonded with the family that she din't want to go back to the orphanage. The Pastor told me they had also bonded with her and wanted to adopt her, but couldn't affort it. I recall thinking to myself at that time, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could just hand them the money to make her adoption possible?"


Taking her back to the orphanage was like a death sentence to her, and she never recoverd from that traumatic experience. We had broken her spirit and overdosed her on attachment disorder.

Prior to her Christmas visit, she had been mild mannered and reasonably contented in the orphanage, but after having her first taste of a real family, the orphanage became her prison and the suppressed inner emotions that had been hiding all those years suddenly overwhelmed her and she could contain it no more. These are the things that brief visits to an orphanage never reveal, and the kind of stories that are never leaked out.

But now it's time
to blow the whistle!



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Home for Good is a 501(c)(3) Non-profit organization
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